Tying a dark-red love knot in her long black hair, dreaming of him by moonlight, Bess waited. The road, a ribbon of light, led him up to the old Inn door. When he tapped on the shutters, the Highwayman whistled a tune. Heart racing, love waking, Bess appeared, loosening her hair in the casement. Looking into her eyes, he smiled, “One kiss my bonny sweetheart; I’m after a prize tonight, but I shall be back by the morning light.” By Odalis, Class of 2015Drenched in blood, her fingers curled towards the moonlight as death entered the room. In the doorway, a young soldier cried, “She’s dead! What happened? She’s dead!” Sacrificing for love, a crimson river of life swam at her feet. Bess’s head bowed over the musket, she died in the darkness. The road lay bare.
Her head held down, arms and hands tied behind her back, she was motionless. As the soliders used her as bait, they waited for him to turn around because they knew that he would. As they all waited in the room the highwayman was on his way back. The soliders gunned him down as the girl shot herself in the chest. They both sacrfice their life for love.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Hayes Writes:
DeleteThank you. Very good. Only critique :) Repetition of the word "as." You can also use "when.."
Nice ABSOLUTES!
Drenched in nothing but blood, Bess held her head low. "Ugh," she moaned til death came upon her. She cried through the night, dreaming of a better day even while dead.
ReplyDelete-Kenneth Gaines III
Mrs. Hayes writes:
DeleteVery nice. I like the concluding participle! [..dreaming of a better day...]